Torn

[nightrythm]

I want to educate a friend about a choice they've made, but it's not really something they can undo easily and they're really happy about it and ultimately I don't want to rain on their parade. I wish I'd known earlier...

Comments

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Yeah.

[lunaticbubbles.livejournal.com]

Is this choice dangerous to themselves or others? Is it a moral issue? Are they throwing money down the drain, or something completely different? *shrugs* I've been in that place before, and really unless I know that they don't want others to interfere or I know they aren't going to hurt themselves in the long or short run I say something. But yeah. Though I've got no idea what you're talking about, it's tough.

Why not just

[lifeofreilly.livejournal.com]

Why not just educate them then?

[freshwaterpurls.livejournal.com]

Alright, my comment will probably be a bit off because I don't know the circumstances of this situation but...
The person is happy. Is there some reason that you feel compelled to push your opinions on this person? Are they in danger (emotionally, physically, etc)?
My rule of thumb is... if the person isn't in immediate danger (i.e. foreseeable not just theoretical) and they've already gone through with the choice - I keep my mouth shut.

[freshwaterpurls.livejournal.com]

I should say that if the choice hasn't been made - then by all means, speak away!

[nightrythm]

It's a moral/political issue: boycott xyz because ....

Re: Why not just

[nightrythm]

Because at this point it's shitting on their good time. What's done is done.

[nightrythm]

Yeah that's why I chose not to say anything. I'm just *frustrated* that I couldn't share info prior 'cause I didn't know.

It's also not really about pushing my opinions, as much as telling them what the situation is and letting them decide. But as I said, decision's made and this is just my frustration speaking.

[daeglan.livejournal.com]

well a boycott is not permanent so I wouldn't say whats done is done. And if they are hurting others through ignorance I would think it is better to educate. A boycott causes financial harm and if it is done for the wrong reason it A. does not accomplish the goals they set out to do. B. Harms another for a crime not committed. But without more detail it is hard to say if my points are even valid.

[stacymckenna.livejournal.com]

As in you would have boycotted a vendor they're using? You could just say "Wow, what an exciting plan! But I never use Company X because of Y" so they're educated about your preferences. But frankly, the minority of people actually follow through with boycotts, so it's possible their parade won't be all that gloomed by it.

[lunaticbubbles.livejournal.com]

Ahhhh. Gotcha. Yeah, that can be annoying. I guess it just depends on the person. Some people react well to being educated, other people... Not so much.

[nightrythm]

I guess I'm always just afraid of other's opinions about me. Your answer is a good one. Thank you.

[raylenetaskoski.livejournal.com]

perhaps they are fully educated and simply don't believe the way you do. This could be a pretty dicey situation.

...raylene

[stacymckenna.livejournal.com]

What, you're afraid they'll think you're a politically conscious "dirty hippy"?!

Pshaw!

[freshwaterpurls.livejournal.com]

You're absolutely right - my phrasing "pushing your opinions" came out harsher than intended.
Reading through the comments though, I feel like it's perfectly reasonable to mention in passing that you feel a certain way about an issue that the person is, perhaps, supporting. They might find your comment intriguing and want to learn more.

[nightrythm]

That's always a possibility. For my own self, I know I would want my friends to tell me that way I can research and make a decision having that knowledge. Even if their decision is not the one I would have made, I feel better knowing that they have the data.

[nightrythm]

LOL. I love you.

Re: Why not just

[lifeofreilly.livejournal.com]

If it's not something that can be undone, then I guess just waiting for whatever personal revelations they may or may not have is the only way to go.

I (and I mean this) always value multiple information inputs, particularly from trusted friends. Especially when they disagree with me. It keeps me in reality and out of my own head. Presented in the right way- it's almost always a good idea.

[nightrythm]

That's a thought. Thanks.

Re: Why not just

[nightrythm]

I promise, I will always do my best to share my knowledge with you. :-)

Re: Why not just

[daeglan.livejournal.com]

I agree. I might not agree with a point of view but it is always worth hearing. Who knows you might learn something... shocking I know.

[daeglan.livejournal.com]

well you know the person... would they want to know?

[nightrythm]

Turns out they would want to know, so I told them. All better now. :-)